An extensive time in-between...

I am going to be a mom again, in about 6 months.  This may be an ordinary statement to most, but I love the follow up that I get to use when asked if this is my first child.  No, I reply, my second...Awww...how does your other little one feel about becoming a big (well, in this case) brother.  I smile, and say...he is not so little, for this baby is due very close to his 14th birthday.  Yep, I grin at the shocked faces and comments of "Are you crazy?" and "He's almost out of the house, why begin again?"  I have to agree that is exactly what I am doing, beginning again, and I believe that I am going to be a better mother because of it.  Let me explain:

  My son, who I will admit is my world, was born when I was 19 (6 weeks shy of 20 and long out of school.)  I worked 2 jobs so that I could spend a year home with him, and just after his 1st birthday, I returned to work, where I have been ever since.  I never planned to have another child, and he was exactly what any mother could want...adorable, well mannered, and creative.  As he grew older, however, I began to think at what age would he be able to handle a sibling?  I wanted to assure that I could still be there for him when he needed me, so any less then 10 years was out of the question.  As he approached 10, the thoughts came back, and I toyed with the idea again, but I was a single mom and not interested in doing it alone....so back in to the "closet" they went.  I have the privilege now, not to be single anymore and the thought occurred to me once again...so following a long talk with my son (and his boys...did I mention he has 4) and an even longer talk with myself...we decided to go for it.  The results are obvious, and we are ecstatic...all of us.  The entire experience is new; from baby gear to birthing centers...nothing is as it was 14 years ago...including me. 

     So, was it worth the wait?  Am I scared?  Am I nuts?  Yes to all 3, for I see my son, not as a little boy but as the young man he now is, not needing me every second and totally excited at the thought of a little brother or sister.  I am scared to death...what mom to be isn't...and I will happily admit to being a bit off my rocker about starting over...but this time I have the privilege of not only age and wisdom, but the amazing man I get to share this with.  Some times we plan out our lives, and we see our future as one thing...but don't get so caught up in "the plan" that you miss the opportunities that are there for the taking.  Embrace the change, for you never know where it may lead you.  Even back into a place you loved years before...just with an extensive time in between.

Until next time...