He does not speak, save for the random phrase he repeats back to you, but his emotions and feelings are evident the minute you look in to his face. And this morning, dressed for school, the message was clear...he was sick (again) and wanted nothing to do with existing outside a sleeper and the sofa. So, despite how lousy I felt, he was home with me. He slept, for hours...and I just watched him. My tiny baby (well, not tiny) who looked helpless. A parent has pride and unconditional love for their child, but an unspoken bond can be a blessing when they don't speak. Of course, it also will drive you mad when you have no idea what to do, to make them feel better and they can not tell you. Ah, Autism...once again you have crashed my helicopter parenting style. I have to trust that eventually I will figure out what he needs, and he will love me despite the times I get it wrong. One thing that is always going to be certain, so long as his feet can reach mine...and he has that contact to another person, it will all be ok. Even now, as I type on the couch next to him...the tiny feet of a sleeper find their way to where mine are. Even with out words he finds a way to let me know he is ok...and I am blessed for that. The lessons are mine to learn, and together we will find a way through this, like we always do...
Until next time...
No comments:
Post a Comment